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This morning as I sat and talked with my Dad over a cup of coffee at our local drug store (Starbucks), one of our staff members from the church joined us for a while.  He has recently become a new dad and is full of stories and excitement that all dads have once experienced.

It was fun to listen to him and watch him tell his stories with drama and energy.  But you could see a glaze of fatigue and lack of sleep that only comes from having a newborn in the house.  As my dad and I sat and listened, we were both loading our guns to tell our own stories that were bigger and better in our own mind.

“Well let me tell you what happened to me…”

We got to a point in the conversation where I asked him if he was ready for some “been there done that” wisdom?  He said that he would be glad to hear it.

I reminded him of how easy is, how easy it will be, and if not careful, how habitual it will become to point the majority of his attention to the new addition to the family.  He looked at me as if “Yah! So?”

My point was that if one is not careful, the attention and affection that was once solely directed toward your spouse, could now be pointed solely at the child and the spouse can easily begin to feel left out.

The spouse might say, “When you used to come home from work, you would come in and give me a big hug and kiss.  But now you come in and go straight to the baby and I might get a “hello honey.”

It is so important for both spouses to keep an eye on the primary relationship.  It is not only necessary, but is very natural to give the new addition to the family lots of love and attention.  But it is also necessary to make sure that the needs of the spouse are being met.

I am simply suggesting that each spouse make it a priority to check on the primary relationship regularly and make sure it is ok.   Keep loving up that child and shower them with affection, but don’t forget number one.

I think our young father friend left the drugstore with something more to chew on than just his coffee cake.

May we all take a moment and make sure that our spouse knows that they are still number one in our heart.

Joel

Last night on the way home from my oldest son’s football game, I pulled up to a stop light and looked over and there he was driving our other car. He had his girlfriend and her little sister in the car with him. I leaned over to Catherine and asked, “How is it possible that two spring chickens like us have a son old enough to be driving?” I still can’t get over how fast our boys are growing up.

I am reminded about how every moment matters. We all need to take advantage of every moment with our kids. I know the day is coming where we will look over into the next car and there will be one of our boys and he will have his wife and children in the car and I will lean over to MeeMee (Catherine), and ask, “How is it possible for two young adults like us to have grandchildren?” The days are fleeting and I want to encourage myself and all of my friends to not waste a day with our children. By the way, if she is MeeMee, does that make me PeePee? I hope not.

Joel

What is it about camping that makes it so memorable?  Some of my fondest memories of childhood are of my family camping.  We would drive forever and then pull into some campground and see families all over the place unpacking tents and putting their red and white checkered table clothes on the picnic tables.  The smell of the campfire, the excitement of smores, and sound of the tent getting zipped up and everyone climbing in their sleeping bags.

It is this time of year that makes me want to create those same kind of memories for my own family.  Only, I wish that we didn’t have to get away to some kind of “utopia” in order for those kind of memories and feelings to happen.  I am looking forward to “camping” at home this summer as well as getting up into the mountains.